Life in Sapa - Vietnam

Most precious gift in my life

I wanted to complete this article before my grandma’s passing. But alas she left us quickly and without giving any trouble to anyone. I want to share her gentle warm love, care and concern for all of us.

In my life, I received lots of love and gifts since birth. Since young, I was always at the receiving end of joy and happiness. I never ever noticed or realized the receiving until lately. Now I realize that the greatest gift of all does not come from receiving but from GIVING and SHARING.

I used to think that giving and sharing is so very hard, because I could not afford to give away any money as I was always short of it. I equated giving only in terms of monetary and material value. I never knew that my time and skills could be so precious to others. It dawned upon me when I experienced and learnt about this lesson, of unconditional giving from my beloved grandma. We can’t buy love and care, even if we had a million dollars to spare, especially the love from our beloved ones.

My eyes wander to the empty wooden chair in my living hall, the chair grandma liked the most. My thoughts wander……I can see ah poh sitting there with her gentle and warm smile. She is wearing her favorite Sarong, holding a paper fan, fanning herself, both legs swinging because she can’t reach the floor. My thoughts started floating as all the old memories overflow my mind.
I remember. We used to talk for hours during your stay at my place. It was so delightful to share everything with you. Be it about emotions, life or love. You were always so supportive and wise, despite not having any formal education.

I have been through many ups and downs, since I left our hometown and moved to Kuala Lumpur. I will never forget all the comforting words, love and support you gave during my hard times, and when I lost my direction in life. You said “Go, do what your heart tells you! As long as you are happy with what you are doing. Let go of the past and all the unhappiness.” I came to the conclusion that you are the one who understood me most.

You worried about my life…..yet, you approved and felt happy at the charity work that I was doing. You used to ask me why do I go to Cambodia for the Charity Project? I replied, “Because I learned about love and care from you, I wish to be like exactly like you. Just like a darling for so many pupils. I remember your smile when you replied “Sure! Certainly you will have better life than me at your old age! ”

Ah Poh, My most wonderful days were during your stay at my place. You taught me how to cook better, how to take good care for my two sons, how to make myself look better…..I gained so much knowledge, wisdom and love from you. Those were such great chances for me to have you accompanying me in my life’s journey. I love to buy your favorite nyonya and hakka foods for you, the joy of making you smile satisfies me.

We will not only miss your love and care, but your delicious cooking as well. We will miss your kaya, laksa, otak-otak, nasi ulam and even your simple onion fried rice…..

In the month of May and June, I was missing you so much and visited you every weekend. Obviously, your body was getting frail. I tend to get chocked up by emotions, and can’t control my tears from falling whenever I shake your hand, stroke your back, touch you….Felt so sad to see you lying down on the bed, with no strength to get up. Yet, you still worry for others: my children, mum, even the relative who stays near me. You kept reminding me that I should not be too busy with teaching and I must take good care of my diet. I could feel how much suffering you went through, nonetheless, you never complained.

28 June, Sunday, I was busy in the morning but I thought of you the whole day. Finally I visited you in the evening. The moment I stepped in your room, my heart shattered to pieces to see your swollen feet and hand, you breathing so laboriously, talking so softly. Despite this, you asked me not to cry; to not be sad, to go home early, because it’s dangerous driving back alone. Aunts and I insisted to send you to the hospital, I saw your eyes welled up with tears and you finally nodded your head to agree to go to the hospital. My heart was so painful, I knew you going to leave us soon…..

29 Jun, Monday, i received a message from cousin Saw Ean, that the doctor has asked us to prepare…..I could only go to see you the next day.

30 Jun, You were so weak, doctors put drips on you and an oxygen mask over your face. You tried to open your eyes when you heard my voice, your eyelids opening gently, you open your eyes slowly and looked at me. Although you could not look at me clearly, nor could you speak, but you lifted up your left hand towards me. I wiped off the tears and quickly hugged you. I felt you were so exhausted, and you were aware that your life was coming to an end. I cried and asked for forgiveness, wish for you to let go of all any grudges you held against anyone and leave peacefully….

When mom rushed to the hospital from Butterworth, you fell asleep again. I then went home, on the way back I realized I forgot to say thank you to you, forgot to tell you that I had an interview from Oriental Press few days ago.

1 July, Alas! It’s too late! With mom accompanying you by your side, you departed at 6.39 in the morning. I cried loudly when I received the call from mom. So many things, if I could only have one last chance. If only I could turn back time. I couldn’t tell her….

All my life I had so much happiness having my grandma with me. I feel so miserable and I miss her terribly. I learned that her GIFT of giving her care, concern, comforting words and most of all her wisdom made me realize that in giving she did it without any money or material things. Ah Poh, I wish you could hear me saying I love you and perhaps an overdue load of apologies. My mentor, my guide, my grandma, I just want to tell you that you are the most precious gift in my life.

追悼外婆 ~ 您是我生命中最珍贵的礼物

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这一篇稿, 应该在阿婆生前便写完的, 但, 我还没完成, 阿婆便离我们而去了! 她是我这一生中得到最珍贵的的礼物. 她的爱心, 对每一个人的关爱和呵护, 总让人心底感到一丝丝的温暖.

我的目光凝视着客厅里摆着的那一张阿婆最喜欢坐的木椅, 思绪飘向远方….穿着沙笼的阿婆彷佛坐在那里摇摆着她的双脚, 手拿着扇子往身上轻轻的拍, 脸上挂着慈祥的笑容. 记忆库慢慢的打开了, 我开始细细的回味那些旧时的回忆.

每次载您来我家小住时, 您总喜欢坐在落地窗前的木椅上和我聊天, 我也很欢喜的 告诉您一切. 不管是感情, 生活还是我的梦想, 您总给予我肯定和支持. 虽然您没读过书, 连电话都不会打, 但您的智慧却那麽的深邃.

在吉隆坡17 年了, 不管是走在坎坷或平坦的路上, 您都时常教诲我如何的面对人生. 永远都忘不了您在我生命中最失落, 最无助的时刻给于我最大的支持和安慰. 您说:” 去! 去做你心里想做的事, 只要你欢喜和快乐! 放下令你不伤心的……”, 您总是说好担心我…..但我所做的一切却是让您感到欣慰的. 记得您曾问我为何要老远的飞往柬埔 寨教画? 我回答说:” 我也要学您一样的爱他人, 也希望以后老了会像您的有这么多人疼爱! 您笑着说: 会的! 你以后一定会很好的…..” 您的到来, 是我最开心的日子.

从我有记忆以来, 您对儿孙们都给予无微不至的关怀, 像河流般的细水长流…..在我们的心中永无休止. 从小到大, 都非常盼望您的到来. 印象中最深刻的是当您回大山脚时, 大弟和小弟总会从楼上奔跑下来拥抱您, 既使会因为跑的太快而从楼梯摔下来也无所谓. 您煮的菜肴更让我们垂涎三尺, 那充满葱味的蛋炒饭, otak-otak, 健康的ulam 饭 (还记得爸爸说这是羊吃的饭呢!) 香甜的咖吔, 美味的肉干, 不管是客家菜还是娘惹菜…..总让我们吃得赞不决口.

其实, 我会去柬埔寨教导那里的小孩, 给他们一些无条件的关爱, 去老人院探访, 布施等…..这一切都是因为看到老人家对他人无私的关爱, 无论是对待自己的儿孙或是素未见面的外人.

这一个月来,每个星期六和星期天都 尽量的去三姨家看您老人家. 瘦小的身躯在这些日子明显的越来越消瘦. 每当握着您的手, 抚摸您的背, 触及那瘦骨嶙峋的身躯时, 我总是心潮澎湃, 不能 自己的泪眼盈眶. 躺在床上的您已无力气再起身了, 却还不断的讯问我的孩子乖吗? 妈妈好吗? 有没去看云姨? 别只是忙着教画, 要注意饮食, 要好好照顾自已. 每当看到我打扮时, 可爱的您总是笑着对我说:” 生了两个孩子的你,身材还很好喔! 要戴眼识人, 不要给男人骗了……” 许多次回家前对您的拥抱和亲吻, 您回于抚摸我的脸庞和长发. 这些充满爱的叮咛和您的声音今后只能在心里追忆了.

尤记得六月三十的星期天, 因一些事故, 延迟至下午才去看您. 然而, 心里却一整天的思念着您. 踏入您的房间的那一刹, 看到您的一双手脚竟然肿了起来, 躺在床上的您连呼吸也好辛苦. 气息如丝, 短短续续的跟我说话…..还叫我不要哭, 不要伤心. 当阿姨和我一致的认为该送您去医院时, 您眼角带着眼泪的点点头. 心里真的好心疼, 也知道亲爱的您就快离我们而去.

星期一早上, 您留院了. 表妹寄了讯息说医生告诉我们要有心里准备…..隔天去医院看您, 病床上的您好虚弱, 手臂上插着针, 吊了点滴, 套着氧气罩的您容貌竟然比昨天更漂亮. 当熟睡的您听到我的声音时, 眼皮轻轻的蠕动, 慢慢的张开眼睛望向我. 虽然您看不清楚眼前的我, 也说不出话了, 但却把左手伸向我, 我流下眼泪连忙抱着您, 感觉到您很疲惫, ­您也似乎知道自己即将不久人世了…..我祈求您原谅我们的过失, 但原您放下一切, 安心的回天家,.…. 当妈妈从北海赶来医院后, 我便回家, 却想起忘了向您道谢…谢谢您教我烹饪, 教我照顾孩子…..也忘了跟您讲前几天有记者访问我….还有….然而, 来不及了! 您在妈妈的陪伴下, 清晨6.30便安祥的离去. 接到点话的这一刻, 我放声大哭了. 很多时候, 很多事情不能重复, 就只有这么一次. 在我们说等的时后, 便离我们而去了!

在葬礼的那一天, 我凝视棺木里的您, 容貌还是那么的慈祥, 宛如在熟睡. 对于您的离去, 我心里强烈的不舍, 对您的思念更加的深. 至今, 心底还是有很深的伤感, 只因与您的祖孙情是那么的深厚. 永远都忘不了医院里最后的拥抱, 最后一次喂您喝牛奶, 还有在心里来不及讲的话.

我告诉自己, 从今以后,无论多忙我也要时常打点话跟爸爸妈妈聊天. 每个假期也要回大山脚, 看看爸妈, 很多时后,在等的当而已来不及了!!

Hanoi - Sapa ~ march 2009

Lao Cai!!
 

The Sunday market in Bac Ha is where we get to experience all the unique embroidery, jewellery and clothes of the H’mong and Dao are good buys here. And the sight of dozens of minority women in their traditional clothing is a memorable part.

Buffalos, dogs, pigs are selling at the market...



Let's these photos tell you the stories....

yeah! may i take a Handsome police man ooh..


Honey in Ao Dai!!

EDUCATION TRIP - JOGJAKARTA DEC 2008

去年的十二月带了35位学生和家长到一个充满神话的印尼古都 - 日惹去旅游. 这五天的旅程至今还记忆猶新. 日惹的人民没有我想象中的带着强烈的回教色彩. 有的却是浓厚的艺术气息. 彌漫周围的是兴都教, 佛教和回教的风彩. 而最让我窝心和舒服的是, 不管我因何事而微笑, 眼前的人一定回报一个友善的笑容. 人与人之间的距离在这陌生的国度, 也因此而拉近了. 可记得最近的笑容是在几时呢? 在这里, 我笑了很多; 微微的笑, 哈哈的笑; 傻傻的笑…..

我们走过了古 印度庙Paramadam , 触目的是一堆堆因地 震而倒塌的石块, 架在庙上的铁架, 还有在努力维 修的工人; 世界七大奇景之一的 Barobudur 里的九层小佛塔, 一层一层重叠而上, 432 尊姿容庄 严的佛象和墙上的 浮雕则让我 想象当年的日惹是怎样的一个佛教国.

而离繁华都市的Kasongan Village对我来说则是个充满传奇的村庄. 街道的两旁尽是陶瓷艺品. 沿户探访 村里的 每一户人家时, 发现他们都有一双灵巧的手. 贫苦的生活环境并不影响他们 对陶艺的创作. 狭小简陋的屋子里除住宿之外, 更是创作陶艺之地; Krebet Village 的村民则对木雕峇迪非常的拿手; 值得一提的是当地的Batik, 不管呈现的是现代创作还是传统图案和神话, 他们那精细的技巧实在让我感到惊讶.

大伙在 Kembang Arum的小村庄渡过了难忘的一天. 当我们 底达村口时, 天空飘下毛毛细雨, 伴着我们漫步在两旁种满了”蛇皮果”(Salak fruit) 的小径上. 呼吸着清新的空气, 跟随敲着竹筒奏着传统民族音乐的当地居民, 我们走入了绿油油的村庄. 这小村 里头住着许多大大小小的画家, Henry 和Pak Arif让许多大人和孩子有机会与大自然更亲蜜的接触.

青翠的稻田围绕着几座小亭子 和板屋. .美丽的蝴蝶在田野中飞舞, 小鸟啁啾 的声音,加上小溪的淙淙流水声, 我的心情刹那间变得特别宁静. 大家兴致勃勃地在小亭里学 制作 “Tupat”, 然而, 一连串的步骤却让大家难以完成. 当大家无奈的放弃编制时, 我还不愿离开. 忽然, 一阵阵轻脆的嘻笑声不断地传来, 令我马上停下手中用椰 叶编制的蚱蜢, 起身向 ibu 道谢后, 连忙朝向笑喊声的方向走去.

孩子们正在轮流骑水牛耕田; 看到又想玩又怕脏的孩子拿着草鞭赶牛的模样, 真叫人好笑! 站在一旁注视孩子们一个接一个兴奋地走独木桥; 跳进池塘里捕捉小鱼.....一阵阵的微风轻轻地拂过我脸颊, 我嗅到了泥土和野花的清香. 这一切令脑海里逐渐沉睡了的童年画面又活跃了起来. 记得我总喜欢骑脚踏车到田野中溜达, 无论是在等着朝阳微笑 的清晨; 还是夕阳轻吻残霞的傍晚, 那一大片的稻田永远都让我感觉到宁静及祥和. 虽然远离家乡许多年, 但至今她还是我的心宁”避风港”.

大人们也在这里重温了美丽开心的童年, 记忆中的 传统玩意儿让大伙玩得不欲乐呼 ; 到处都充满了喜悦. 孩子们的喧叫声让这平静的村庄热闹了起来. 看到爸爸和孩子们兴奋地往椰树上爬, 让 我不竟的会心一笑 .

一连串的活动结束后, 大人和孩子也有些累了, 走入别緻的板屋里 或 稻田旁的小亭稍息. 各类的印尼糕点已摆在桌上. 喝了甜甜的饮品和吃了糕点 之后, 孩子们便开始写生了. 刚在池塘里抓了鱼的芷倩, 这一幕有非常深刻的印象, 只有五岁的她一拿起笔便一气呵成的画了自己在抓鱼的画面. 其他的孩子有的在屋内画竹马, 或在屋外画风景.

时间不知不觉地流逝, 是时候向这美丽的田野告别了. 我情不自禁地撫摸那长得特别丰盈的绿叶, 倚风摇摆的小野花, 依恋的心情油然而生. 我们的足迹将永留在此了.

生长在钢骨森林的孩子们, 在接触了这一个充满大自然气息的土地后的感觉如何呢? 这一份大自然里的体验, 会否带给年少的心不一样的感受呢? 但愿若干年后那生气盈然的绿意, 小溪流水的涓涓声, 依然还在他们的童年里….

EDUCATION TRIP - JORJAKARTA Dec 2008

Explore to the village activities .....

Here are the way we walk into the village with the local people who play the traditional music.

Felling excited to plouging paddy field...yet complained very "dirty" loh..

“That's how i climb the coconut tree when i was young....hehe ”says Yong Hui's father.

We were having fun in the river, which hardly had chance to do it in Kuala Lumpur...

Everybody were learning to do "Kuih Tupat", trying and trying and trying...but...hahaha...when we pull, that's the end of the results.