Episode 14 ~ Creating Colors of Cambodia

http://www.artmalaysiagroup.com/arttalk/detail/74/episode-14-creating-colors-of-cambodia

There was a definite spring in the well-toned step of Ms Honey Khor, as she bounced into the room and announced – ‘I’ve done it. Yippee. I’ve done it - well, we’ve done it really’. And what had Ms Honey Khor done? She had managed to raise the entire amount of cash needed to print the book – A Story of Colors of Cambodia.

It had been a seven month haul of pleading and cajoling, urging people to part with their hard-earned money, to support the crazy endeavour of a book about a children’s charity aimed at Cambodia. Nevertheless it was congratulations all round – she had done it, and it was slap on the back time and a small, very small, celebratory dinner – consisting of a bowl of watery noodles shared by two.

Time waits for no woman and Honey is no laggard letting moss grow between her toes. So, no sooner had Honey lightened our lives with her news than she was off again. That, now rapidly aging, black SUV sped around Malaysian suburbia taking our heroine to yet more meetings – this time to finalise both the book itself, and the launch of the book – due on 14^th October this year.

Episode 15 ~ Creating Colors of Cambodia

Things were going at the fullest tilt possible. Impatient fingers thrummed tables, hasty phone-calls were made enquiring what had happened, then, as if a lifetime later - the long awaited parcel – containing a print-out of our book manuscript, arrived from the US of A.

After a moment of nervous anticipation, our American editor’s crucial red alterations, critical comments, and superior suggestions were eagerly pored over. Every minute change was noted and sometimes included within the book – A Story of Colors of Cambodia. Pretty soon the manuscript was updated, sections re-arranged, and one or two visual elements tweaked. Then the final keyboard key had clattered. The final amendment was added. The last section of the Indesign file was finished, and so too was - the book, finally and at last.

There was no rapturous applause. No fanfare. No sounding of trumpets, just the faint whir of the computer fan as the final edit was performed, finishing the last section of the book. The document was saved in four places – just in case, and then it was handed over to San San to tidy the whole thing up, bless her. And there it was done – another success for Honey Khor et al.

Episode 16 ~ Creating Colors of Cambodia

http://www.artmalaysiagroup.com/arttalk/detail/84/episode-16-creating-colors-of-cambodia

Honey handed in the final version of the book to the printer. It was a heart stopping moment. Several days later Honey was contacted to say that she could pick up the colour proof of the book.

 

It was with much trepidation and anxiety that Honey travelled in her black SUV, sunglasses perched upon her dainty nose, to collect the colour proof. It was Sunday. Not a normal working day, so Honey had to collect the colour proof from the guard. Her face fairly beamed with pride and delight as she nursed that proof in her hands.


It had been a long day. Honey drove with a huge smile upon her designer-lipstick smeared lips. Honey was top of the world (Ma). It was Mission Impossible made possible by good teamwork. But when she reached home and started to thumb through the proofs, her magic smile faded and frown lines began to appear on her troubled brow.

OMG, it would take a month of Sundays to correct all the errors – but actually they were done within a week thanks to a concerted team effort. Teamwork saved the day. Back Honey trudged to the printer with the final book on her CD.

Episode 17 ~ Creating Colors of Cambodia

http://www.artmalaysiagroup.com/arttalk/detail/85/episode-17-creating-colors-of-cambodia

The book was safely at the printers. It was time Honey turned her attention back to promoting the event – the launching of the book on the 14^th October at Glenmarie, Shah Alam, Kuala Lumpur.

There were dinners to attend, slideshows to beam and people to smile nicely to. Honey reconnected with her old network of friends and business acquaintances, urging them assist in the sales of the Hi-Tea vouchers (RM50 each). It was a trying time.


Banners were to be printed; vouchers were to be printed as were posters and press releases to be sent out. The work seemed endless. Honey beavered away at her laptop, her hand phone and met person after person urging them to help sell the Hi-Tea vouchers.

Slowly the printing was done. The press releases sent, it was just those few remaining Hi-Tea vouchers that remained. It was time for Honey to put herself into top gear. Like the professional she is, Honey depressed her clutch and rammed herself into fifth gear. She sped off like a red Lamborghini, practically all thrust and torc. Her determination was second to none; watch out Mr Business man Honey is on top form and is after your donations.  

Catalonia Summer

Learning about Art History in Malaysia Institute of Art ( 1992-1995) used to be the hardest subject for me. Being poor in English made it much more difficult, I could not understand much when lecturer explained. I even find that it was so tough to read art history book in the past. But, I know, learning is a life time process! I will get there eventually.

Slides presentation by Mr Lok How Yuan during Art History lesson wasn't really appreciate by me at that time in that dark, freezing classroom . So much to remember, so much to learn. But now, I must say: " Thank you, Mr Lok! It was you the one who connected me to this part of world. A world of infinity creation!" 

The Persistence of Memory by Salvodor Salvador Dalí, is the painting that stay with my memory since my study in MIA. Dali's style is like photo realism, it make me think. But, I can only "tried" to understand about his feeling, his way of expression and stories in his art. Until, I am there, in Figueres, Cadagues and Port Lligat. Physically stood right in his living room, bed room, balcony and his studio. Looked out from the window....I took a deep breath. I stood still, wide opened my mouth. I recognised the blue sky, the sea, the rock, the bay and the island have been represented in several of Dali's work ~ The Madonna of Port Lligat, Crucifixion (Corpus Hypercubus), and The Sacrament of the Last Supper. 

Sunlight came through the glass, shined into Dali's studio, on his brushes, mediums for oil colours just as he left them. I imagined he is here, seating in front of one of his last work, on the pulling system he used for working. It was 1930, dali bought simple shack. This shack has been created to a piece of magnificent art by Dali. Every single part in the house is amazing. Decades, Dali lived and worked until the death of his muse Gala in 1982.

Walked in Dali's home and museum twice in 2 years. It's just more than i can tell. I remember my first travelled to Figueres from Bacelona alone in 2012. Sat in the train, I started my "thinking". "The Thinking" have magically connected me to many beautiful people in Figueres. 

The miraculous night that I met Mr Luis Duran, who were so kind and devotion to my sketches; The corner of the street at Duran Hotel & Restaurant where Mr Duran waited for me on the breezing morning; The magical moment I sat in El Celler; A wonderful meeting with gentle and interesting man Joan Vehi, who was photographer and carpenter for Dali; The handsome and creative writer Martí Dacosta who also the owner of Dalícatessen......and the charming, beautiful young adults who enjoyed sketching Sant Pere church with me. I am beholden to the delicate people I met in Catalonia. For what they have done, shared and guided, they had shown me the path, lead me to Dali's footsteps. 

Learning Art History in lives was what I looking forward for years. Even though at that moment in time, I was excited, nervous and worry on my "little" adventure in Figueres. But then...deep is my heart, I know that's "The Way". I would never have imaging myself in where Dali painted. The "Catalonia Summer" was one of my dream came true.

I would like to rejoice this happiness to my dear family members, teachers and friends who have supporting me in this "art journey", their supports have determine my path.

《汤》

汤》

二十多年前我在离开大山脚到吉隆坡求学后，就特别的思念妈妈的住家汤。从小就特别喜欢那飘散于空气中，时而若有若无，时而浓郁难化的香气，也喜欢蹲在火炭炉旁看那烧得红通通的火炭，听煲里的咕噜咕噜滚的声音，然后深深的吸一吸那煲汤飘出来的香味。。。。汤的味道！

不管是简单清淡的红枣冬瓜汤，老黄瓜汤，枸子西洋菜汤，还是红烧咸菜排骨汤，猪肚鱼漂汤都是那么的美味可口。只因为汤里头有“家”的味道。

这一阵子，孩子不时的从他爸爸，我前夫那里带老火汤和家常汤给我。当我从孩子手里接过那盛满一碗汤的保温瓶，心里真的满满的都是感激。 温温的汤喝在口里，也感动。。。更感恩！每一碗汤，我和孩子真的是喝在口里，甜在心里。

我想，这可是修来的福报吧！两个孩子现在除了拥有爸爸妈妈的爱，还有另一个疼惜他们的阿姨，爸爸的女朋友；再加上我那老外老公也挺疼他们的。两个家，个别有了经常烧饭烤排骨羊扒煲汤给他们的阿姨和马丁之后，大家的关系拉近了很多，更融合了。我经常跟告诉孩子，这就是经常围绕着身边的幸福哦！ 感恩“她” 和“他”走进我和孩子的生命里。两个家未必是复杂，用另一个角度看也可以是很简单的。

当初选择离婚后，我们大人和小孩都别无选择的处于难过，受伤的时刻。加上环境和关系的变迁，闲言闲语，孩子受的伤害是比大人还深，还痛！慢慢的我们都挨过了那难堪的时候，孩子也了解我和他爸爸的离异并不是分离的开始。也谅解那个“静静”的爸爸和这个“吵吵”的妈咪当初的抉择；而我们大人也从开始的怨恨到原谅，再把过去的执着放下。一起和孩子的爸安排时间配合载送和照顾孩子。

九年了，孩子的爸终于遇到了他心意的梅姨。我很开心，真心的祝福他们！ 也谢谢梅姨的用心和爱屋及乌。因为通情達意的她，孩子们的日子过得更踏实，更快乐了。

我和孩子都很喜欢她煲的汤。。那些带有淡淡香味和家的味道的汤！

Angkor Hospital for Children - The Mural

This is what happiness meant to me ~ Imagine the smile on the little face when the child looking at the painting....Their smile stay in my heart, i feel the joy...for years! That's the reason why I am back to Colors of Cambodia again and again.

I wish this mural will distract children uncomforted feeling. My blessing to all, may this mural radiate love, joy and peace to everyone.

I am very grateful to have this opportunity to share my skills and knowledge with students in Siem Reap, and at the same time, all of us share our joys and happiness with the children and parents, nurses and doctors...and staffs in the hospital through ART!

Once again, Thank you you all for all the kind supports in art materials, time and efforts for Colors of Cambodia! Cheers!!! 

《给我18岁儿子的话》

敬：
昨天坐在车厢内, 偶尔用眼角看看正在专注驾车的你。我的嘴角微微上扬，其实这只不过是最简单不过的一件事；会驾车了，上大学了，然后毕业。。就业。。但你妈咪我却感到五味参杂。

前两天，看着你的背影，充满信心的跨入大学校门之际，我在想着那些心里话要什么时候对你说。

在我23岁那一年，你在怡保的医院哇哇大哭的，却平安的来到这花花世界。那一年，我纯美术系的好朋友到澳洲报到，继续深造；而我却升级当妈妈！ 23岁当妈妈，从不懂事到凡事都要懂的那一段日子真的不容易过。幸好还有个“阿婆”时常来看你，教你妈咪我如何照顾你，如何煲粥，烹饪等。你应该会永远都把慈祥的”祖祖”记在心底吧？！

我蛮怀念你小时候窝在床上一起阅读的晚上！我们一起付出的努力，现在看到成果了。这一个阅读的习惯你一定要继续哦！

时光荏苒，岁月如梭，过去的日子不晓得你记得多少。但我知道在和你爸分开的那一年我们给你不少的伤害。 以为10岁的你已长大了，可以接受父母离异的事实。还记得那一晚吗？在你的睡房里，偶然间我看到你的周记里些的那一段话，还有你亲爱的老师给你的回复。剎那间，我的泪水直流，我们抱在一起痛哭。深深的感受到你心里的刺痛，和那伤害！

接下来的日子，我们都学习用最好的方式去相处和面对生活。 六年的小学和五年的中学生涯，我也不曾要求你的成绩一定要名列前茅。我深信学校考试只不过是人生里一小锤的事儿，尽力而为！ 拥有广阔的视野和知识加上好的人格和品性却是一生要学习的功课。

其实，你一直以来都是我的骄傲！从小到大你都保持内心的独立，尤其是思考上的独立，不盲从，不轻信，不妄言。妈咪真的希望你在现在这个信息遍地是非混淆的时代你会对事物准确的判断，不被人利用。

我也感受到我的儿子你长大了，开始有自己的思想，对周围、对社会也有了自己的认知和理解。不管你的思考和认知是否正确和成熟，你知道，妈咪我都充分尊重你的看法。

今年，你十八岁了， 意味着长大成人，拥有美好的年华！开始怀着满满的希望，憧憬和未来，但也意味着肩上要担负起自己的责任。很快的，六月八日就要到了，我就要把世界大门的钥匙交给你了！那一天，你就是成人了！

这封信是成人之间心与心的交流与沟通，也衷心送上我对你最真挚和满满的祝福！

希望你的人生将是灿烂阳光的，无论做什么事，一定要尽心和努力！ 我们才会问心无愧，不留遗憾！

儿子，要开开心心、阳光灿烂的迎接你的每一天！好好的珍惜这完全是的英语教学的大学生涯！

深爱你的妈咪

Angkor Children's Hospital Mural

Video of Painting in Angkor Hospital

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=JOwxlCF4E3Y

简单快乐

http://www.nanyang.com/node/598337?tid=493

当Didi Ang问我你快乐吗？ 我想也不想就回答，很快乐！ 但在Didi离开了之后，我思考了这问题好几天。 然后，很肯定的回答自己，我真的很快乐！ 但是，为什么我会这么快乐呢？ 我想到孩子的爸爸， 从我俩相恋到相处不来的日子，到离婚时对大家的怨恨， 至今天可以心平气和的交谈。 这一路走来，我们慢慢的学会了宽恕和放下。当把过去逐步的放下时，开始发现因为怨恨，我们忽略了就在身边的幸福和快乐。

想想这么多的快乐就在举手之间，哪里可以让人生只是充满悲伤呢？

因为孩子的 ～ 爸，我上了一堂曾经以为很幸苦和难过的课。但九年后的今天，再次的想起这些往事，心底怨恨不在了，只有感恩。很感谢他和我一起修这一生的功课。 孩子的爸！深深的祝福 ～ 愿你快乐！

果醒法师说：“要追求真正的快乐，首先要分析———快乐是什么？”

快乐其实是一门深奥的课题，每个人都在追求快乐，但每个人快乐的标准都不同；一些人的快乐建立在富裕的物质上，觉得花了钱买来实物方值得快乐，有人却追求精神层面的快乐，但究竟什么是“真正的快乐”，谁也说不准。

但若问你：“你快乐吗？”……这道很简单却能让人深思良久的问题，你会怎么回答？

老实说，她是我碰过“最爱笑”的一个女人。

她那种“连旁人也能感染到她的快乐”的笑声，非常迷人，这样的她，难免让人怀疑她是个没经历过低潮的幸运儿吗？事实正好相反，她的“幸运”反而是在于：在她那不算走得很平坦的人生道路中，她遇到了很多教会她“快乐”的贵人。

从小就很爱绘画的她，17岁就跟着绘画老师在学校教画；虽然是很短暂的经验，但许棐杳不只学会了绘画的技巧，她还从老师身上学会了人生道理，所以她说：“这位老师算是我人生中，影响我很大的贵人之一”，她之后也延用了老师的教学方式，灌输学生正确的人生观念和道理，不局限于教导硬知识。

一直都从事教育工作、也不愿放弃绘画的她，在机缘巧合之下，还找到机会往柬埔寨义务教育当地小孩绘画；听起来很完美不是吗，何来不平坦的人生路？“既然已经结婚生子，你就别再出去画画了、留在家当全职妈妈吧，你那些画又不卖钱”，这是许棐杳永生难忘的一句话，而说这句话的不是别人……正是许棐杳孩子———爸。

绘画抒发情绪

她说：“我不能说他的观念是错，但对我来说，绘画是一种心灵的治疗。那时候我常跟孩子他爸吵架，心情很难受又不敢告诉家人，唯有透过绘画来抒发心情；当你花几个小时专注绘画时，不一定要注重技巧，想怎么画就怎么画，不失是一种释放压力的方式；所以我觉得，绘画对成人或小孩都好，是得到快乐的一条途径。”

而许棐杳与孩子他爸，最后也没有长相厮守，许棐杳说：“那段时期真的很黑暗，每天晚上回到家就哭，哭累了就睡，睡醒就继续强颜欢笑，生活再难过还是要过。”

佛法重寻快乐

差不多有半年的时间，她都忘了快乐是什么。直到朋友介绍她到佛堂教课，她才从佛法中重新找回快乐，她说：“佛法教我放下，只要你一天还学不会放下，心中就会一直带着‘恨’，恨别人的生活总过得比自己的好，到底是哪里出问题了呢？慢慢地，我才领悟到不是自己生活出问题，而是自己的心态根本没调整好啊！

所以要得到快乐，你就要学会‘放下’、并丢掉心中的‘恨’，就能学会不抱怨；虽然听起来很抽象很难办到，但当你真正去做了就会觉得，其实没有想象中难。用金钱买快乐很容易，但物质于我的快乐很短暂，只有心灵的快乐才能恒久。”而透过绘画，她终也找到了另一个快乐泉源，那就是她生命中的“Mr.Right”。

贫困并不苦

一趟柬埔寨之旅，许棐杳就领悟到了更简单，却更有深度的快乐。

她说：“其实教小孩绘画，本来就是一件很快乐的事情，你能从中感受到他们的纯真。柬埔寨的小孩让我领悟更深的是，现在很多小孩都被物质和科技化了，但他们不管生活或思想都更纯朴，从他们的画就能轻易看出来；房子是小朋友绘画的基本功，看惯了本地小孩画得花俏的房子，第一次看到柬埔寨小孩画的房子，有点不习惯。

画是一面镜子

“你会看到清一色‘方格屋身+三角屋顶’的极简线条房子，装饰就是两面方格窗户和一道长方门，我就在想他们的画怎会如此的空洞呢？而且几乎所有小孩都一样，当我深入去了解他们的思想和生活后，我才领悟到小朋友的画就是一面镜子，反映出来的正是他们平日的生活环境，他们居住的房子就真的长这个样子啊！

“我曾经是一个很爱抱怨的人，但亲眼看到柬埔寨人的生活，可谓贫困的他们也能活得很快乐，为什么我们反而就不行？是不是生活水准越高，要求就会越高？当我们追求的东西越多时，烦恼也会跟着增加，你就很难静下心来想，到底你所追求的东西，是不是你真正需要的？抑或只是盲目的追求？

常抱怨变渺小

“当然也不是说‘追求’就是不好的事，如果它已经对你造成某程度的困扰，而你又找不到正确的心态去面对它时，你就不会快乐……那又是何苦呢？

以前没机会出国，所以只能看到小圈子的小人小事，当时觉得自己是悲惨的人，但当我把柬埔寨的生活投映在自己的身上，才发现自己一直在抱怨的事，突然变得很渺小。

“这不是‘把自己的快乐，建筑在别人的痛苦上’的心态，只是透过他们的经历学会了感恩自己所拥有的一切，而不是什么大小事都要抱怨一番。少了抱怨，大家自然就能活得快乐一点，你说是吗？”

Internal Dialogue

Siem Reap town,

still a beauty,

but not so innocent or simple. 

Women dressed to kill,

High heels, 

lipstick, 

eye shadow.

Sense of  materialism,

stronger.

Young ladies

girls,

seeking better life.

Life 

not as simple as it was.

Small kids, 

bare foot,

running

singing.

Education or family,

can they choose?

live the lives as their parents.

Can they dreams

hope?

I wish.

my internal dialog,

Teaches me about loving

sharing,

in many differenct ways.

Art will save the world,

connected my inner self.

Colors of Cambodia,

touched my heart.

Kind hearted individuals,

bring art materials.

Generous sponsors,

spontaneous giving.

Loving kindness radiating

Love and joy surrounding

We learn.

Each of us plant a seed,

In ourselves,

In others.

It will,

It should,

Blossom!